When Your Wife’s a Writer (hang on for the ride!)

Let’s face it. Anyone who marries a writer gets to witness a roller-coaster. My husband gets a regular dose of “I love where my novel’s going!” followed by “I can’t stand this novel” and then back to the beginning again. Many times. He gets roped into brainstorming sessions, harassed for his opinion when he has none, and inundated with bits and pieces of works in progress. He watches the excitement from positive reviews and the frustration with negative.

You might be a husband-of-a-writer if…

-Your wife gets hurt, and her first response is… now I can write about this!

-You are harassed for your opinion on something you’d never read on your own

-You know the storyline of a romance novel you’d never otherwise have any interest in

-You become jealous of a made-up character who steals all your wife’s time

-You are randomly lassoed into brainstorming sessions

-The best antidote to frustration is coming up with a new story angle for your wife to use

-Your wife sits in front of the TV to spend time with you, but she’s actually in another world, with her headphones on

-Her social life consists somewhat of people who don’t exist

-New people you both meet are scrutinized as possible future book characters

-Your wife spends hours on her work, but doesn’t get paid by the hour. And she’s ok with that.

Vince has put up with a lot in the few months we’ve been married. And how does he deal with it? Pretty much like most husbands-of-writers I know.

I posted on Facebook about his involvement:

“I used to worry about my choice for a husband. I’m a writer and he can’t stand to read. But yesterday he texted me from the mower as he mowed the grass an idea for my work in progress. I don’t worry anymore.”

I was sitting on the couch on the laptop, and yes, he still texted me from the tractor. Vince is an engineer who probably owns no more than three books. He has never liked reading, or even spelling. He’s not the type I’d ever thought I’d marry, but here we are.

A few writer friends responded to my post with similar situations – non-writing husbands who were along for the rollercoaster. What I found so interesting in their responses, however, was the “but.” It was present in every response. My husband doesn’t like books BUT…  he’s the best editor. My husband doesn’t write either, BUT…  he’s my biggest fan.

Most writers don’t marry other writers, but God still makes it happen, doesn’t He? Maybe they’re not exactly like us (which, honestly, is probably a good thing), but they each love their writing spouses. And they have a huge desire to support them, in whatever way they’re able. Maybe they don’t read their wife’s romance novel cover to cover – or even at all – but they give up time spent with them, sometimes pick up the slack in housework duties, pay for writing conferences and contest entries, give them their own “writing space,” and sometimes even enter into the process in a way. They support, encourage, and push when necessary. But the best part is, as their writing spouse is flying through ups and downs on that crazy roller coaster of the publishing world, they’re right there next to them, in the seat, going up and down with them.

Thank You, God, for the husbands of writers. You knew exactly what we needed.

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